Hmm…its been just 2 weeks and I’m already bored…I mean sure…it was very exciting at first…to be escorted by angels and all…I couldn’t even believe that I was going to heaven to begin with…it’s a pity that I can’t share funny facts with my friends about life in heaven.
1.God welcomes u at the doors…and agrees to grant you one wish (except going back to earth)…it’s a pity that all I could think of at that time was to make him do somersaults…impeccable. But a chance wasted…I wonder how he tap dances…hopefully the next person in requests to see that…
2.You get an ID badge for being in heaven…they have in times and out times and all that…and you’d think that the world is made in the reflection of heaven…
3.You are allowed to visit earth once in every month…but you can’t communicate with ppl…just stalk them…a guy in here has seen all the famous celebrities naked…too bad he’s dead and can’t do anything about it…oh didn’t I tell you…when you’re dead…you wiener kind of dies too…no aids STDS here in heaven.
4.You get to choose how you look. This was a smart move on the part of the admin guys…you see the accident cases and murdered people were just killing the entire serene mood of the place. So you find a lot Tom Cruises and Clint Eastwood. Poor Heath Ledger and Michael Jackson have to entertain a lot of stupid questions.
5.There is an exchange program held annually where in ppl get to go to hell. I think
I’ll enroll for that. It’ll be fun going there…and I’m pretty sure I’ll see a lot many more celebs there than here.
Well that’s about it for now, I’ll update you later…it’s not like you are going anywhere. And I’ll be damned if I leave this place (see…again... how I played with words there…I’m good. pity I didn’t use it when I was alive)
PS: I don’t know why I wrote this piece of shit today…pl. don’t judge me (LMAO!!...I’m on a roll today)
Friday, December 17, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
priceless!!!
1 yr of coaching classes-21k
endless sleepless nights of worries-5k(present rates of madhosh bar applicable)
the days leading up to the exam-1k
screwing up ur exam and to top it all..seeing ur ex-flame at the center-PRICELESS..
there are somethings money can buy...for everything else...there's FML!!
endless sleepless nights of worries-5k(present rates of madhosh bar applicable)
the days leading up to the exam-1k
screwing up ur exam and to top it all..seeing ur ex-flame at the center-PRICELESS..
there are somethings money can buy...for everything else...there's FML!!
look who's back...back again!!
(he picks the titles...but the content is all mine!!!)
yeah dude...i know..
but in all honesty..tell me one thing..u were expeting this weren't u??..behind this stern face and strong words of dissaproval, you are kind of happy that your suspicions and guesses stand proved without any speck of doubt, aren't u?!...u ungrateful bastard..
yes...u are ungrateful...i created u, for crying out loud...i made u into what u are today..and u wished(even prayed vehemently) for my fall..we both deserve each other don't we?!?
Hmm..so yeah..back to square one..although i wonder why they call it square one..that's still a positive..i mean..u still are at '1' aren't u?!?...back to ground zero...now that's more like it..
and the ever looming question still hangs over my head...ever drawing closer to crushing me down with it's weight.."now what?!?"
any ideas einstein?!?..or will u just stand there at the end of the corridor laughing ur butt off..think of atleast having the decency to come down and give me a hug..u prick..
but u know..i think i have started liking this feeling..i could live with it..i mean u have lived with all ur life(albeit 2 yrs)..how difficult can it be...?!?..hehe..
chal...lets go to the galla...my treat..
yeah dude...i know..
but in all honesty..tell me one thing..u were expeting this weren't u??..behind this stern face and strong words of dissaproval, you are kind of happy that your suspicions and guesses stand proved without any speck of doubt, aren't u?!...u ungrateful bastard..
yes...u are ungrateful...i created u, for crying out loud...i made u into what u are today..and u wished(even prayed vehemently) for my fall..we both deserve each other don't we?!?
Hmm..so yeah..back to square one..although i wonder why they call it square one..that's still a positive..i mean..u still are at '1' aren't u?!?...back to ground zero...now that's more like it..
and the ever looming question still hangs over my head...ever drawing closer to crushing me down with it's weight.."now what?!?"
any ideas einstein?!?..or will u just stand there at the end of the corridor laughing ur butt off..think of atleast having the decency to come down and give me a hug..u prick..
but u know..i think i have started liking this feeling..i could live with it..i mean u have lived with all ur life(albeit 2 yrs)..how difficult can it be...?!?..hehe..
chal...lets go to the galla...my treat..
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
tears trickling down my face...down my face...or is it blood?!?...i taste it...no it's tears...the wound is inside..somewhere deep within..i bleed as i smile...i taste my own blood...it tastes good...i lick it all...more tears..
was it worth it?!?...
picking myself up from the ground i look up...how deep have I fallen...it's a long climb up...will i make it..?!?...i smile..i cry...i lick my tears..salty..i like it...who cares..i am as alone down here as above...its at least dark in here...i check my pockets...i was sure i had a smoke here somewhere...i light it up..i sit in a corner..in complete darkness...some would say "look for light"...but why bother..
i smile..i make smoke rings that are not visible...going up...becoming bigger...and bigger...till they encompass all...me, my life...everything...i get up...i begin to dig...with my claws...deeper....deeper...i have to dig deeper...i lie there in peace...peace...
was it worth it?!?...
picking myself up from the ground i look up...how deep have I fallen...it's a long climb up...will i make it..?!?...i smile..i cry...i lick my tears..salty..i like it...who cares..i am as alone down here as above...its at least dark in here...i check my pockets...i was sure i had a smoke here somewhere...i light it up..i sit in a corner..in complete darkness...some would say "look for light"...but why bother..
i smile..i make smoke rings that are not visible...going up...becoming bigger...and bigger...till they encompass all...me, my life...everything...i get up...i begin to dig...with my claws...deeper....deeper...i have to dig deeper...i lie there in peace...peace...
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
movie life v/s real(pranav's) life
My roommate just recently downloaded this new James bond theme song from one of the Bond flicks..and we listen to it like all the time...in the car and in the room..
so understandably we were listening to the song when driving to the office...and that's when i started to do something that i always do at such times..day dream!
i started dreaming and living a life like that of 007..high speed car chases...end of the world scenarios..women..parties..booze..guns..gadgets..more women..killer looks..super villains..assasins..but before i could go any further with my fantasies and make a new bond movie in my head starring Pranav Iyer as the new MI-6 agent-007, something happened that it all came crashing down..my eyes went on to the side-view mirror and i saw myself staring back at me..
You know that feeling of sucking out something using high pressure difference??..try doubling that and that too out of Ur ass..
even before my story could get started the glaring contradictions started flashing in front of my eyes..
so this is the realistic Pranav Iyer Spy story...
Recruited into RAW at an age of 22, Pranav Iyer is a promising lad..he will make an ideal undercover..not because he stands out in a crowd..but coz he fits right into it..people don't notice pranav in a crowd..except to ask for occasional drinks or to clean up their room..he is invisible to a suspicious eye...Pranav Iyer not only 'does not' attract women..he repels them so far..that there are absolutely no chances of a compromise to the mission..no collateral damages..he is a master of guise..a perfect chameleon..
a waiter,an usher,a bartender,a sweeper..bin there done that!!
He does not drive an Ashton Martin...he rides on a splendor..he does not wear Reid & Tailor Suits..he wears kurta pyjamas,khaki uniforms(usually that of security guards),rags..usually rags..he doesn't go to fancy cocktail parties..he goes to dance bars,charas dens,mafia hideouts,caves..he does not sleep with the most gorgeous women that mankind has ever known..he usually rents porn whenever he gets his hands on a computer..Pranav Iyer is an asset to us because of all these qualities that make him invaluable to us..and well.. valueless to the ppl around..ok THAT was funny...i should probably stop documenting our undercovers and start a blog of my own..
-Alfa.(Official induction of Pranav Iyer-agent 007)
PS: Reel world scenario v/s Real world scenario
REEL LIFE:
Villain-Who are you?!?..
(Bond music playing in the background)
007- The name's Bond..James Bond..I am a spy working for the queen of england and i am here to kill you..
Villain-(manialcal laughter) you cannot even touch me..this is my fortress..i am well protected here..
(Bond whips out his gadgets-a throwing knife from his boots, a gun from his belt, a poisoned pin from his watch, a laser from his eyes..no wait..that was superman..anyways u get the point)
Villain-I should have never under estimated the MI-6..aahh...(dies)
The hot girl swoons over bond..they make out and then he takes her away in his Ashton Martin to some undisclosed exotic location where they make hot steamy love..
REAL LIFE:
Villain-Who are you..?!?
007- The name's Iyer...Pranav Iyer..I work for the Govt of India and i am here to kill you..
Villain Stares..for 2 minutes..
Villain-Ramu..call the security guards and throw this deranged mother fucker out of this party..
007- Hey no wait..i am a spy..i really am..I Spy..
Villain-Really??..where are Ur cool gadgets then?!?..i thought all spies are loaded with them
007- I have a desi tamancha in my sock..a kookri in my back pocket..an air gun in my side pocket...and a cyanide up my ass..don't be shocked; this is a usual practice amongst spies..we all keep a cyanide capsule up our ass..so whenever u see an under cover agent in a situation he cannot escape from..don't be surprised to see him squat down and finger himself..that's the protocol..and now if u will excuse me..i need some room to squat down..
.
.
.
cheers!!!
so understandably we were listening to the song when driving to the office...and that's when i started to do something that i always do at such times..day dream!
i started dreaming and living a life like that of 007..high speed car chases...end of the world scenarios..women..parties..booze..guns..gadgets..more women..killer looks..super villains..assasins..but before i could go any further with my fantasies and make a new bond movie in my head starring Pranav Iyer as the new MI-6 agent-007, something happened that it all came crashing down..my eyes went on to the side-view mirror and i saw myself staring back at me..
You know that feeling of sucking out something using high pressure difference??..try doubling that and that too out of Ur ass..
even before my story could get started the glaring contradictions started flashing in front of my eyes..
so this is the realistic Pranav Iyer Spy story...
Recruited into RAW at an age of 22, Pranav Iyer is a promising lad..he will make an ideal undercover..not because he stands out in a crowd..but coz he fits right into it..people don't notice pranav in a crowd..except to ask for occasional drinks or to clean up their room..he is invisible to a suspicious eye...Pranav Iyer not only 'does not' attract women..he repels them so far..that there are absolutely no chances of a compromise to the mission..no collateral damages..he is a master of guise..a perfect chameleon..
a waiter,an usher,a bartender,a sweeper..bin there done that!!
He does not drive an Ashton Martin...he rides on a splendor..he does not wear Reid & Tailor Suits..he wears kurta pyjamas,khaki uniforms(usually that of security guards),rags..usually rags..he doesn't go to fancy cocktail parties..he goes to dance bars,charas dens,mafia hideouts,caves..he does not sleep with the most gorgeous women that mankind has ever known..he usually rents porn whenever he gets his hands on a computer..Pranav Iyer is an asset to us because of all these qualities that make him invaluable to us..and well.. valueless to the ppl around..ok THAT was funny...i should probably stop documenting our undercovers and start a blog of my own..
-Alfa.(Official induction of Pranav Iyer-agent 007)
PS: Reel world scenario v/s Real world scenario
REEL LIFE:
Villain-Who are you?!?..
(Bond music playing in the background)
007- The name's Bond..James Bond..I am a spy working for the queen of england and i am here to kill you..
Villain-(manialcal laughter) you cannot even touch me..this is my fortress..i am well protected here..
(Bond whips out his gadgets-a throwing knife from his boots, a gun from his belt, a poisoned pin from his watch, a laser from his eyes..no wait..that was superman..anyways u get the point)
Villain-I should have never under estimated the MI-6..aahh...(dies)
The hot girl swoons over bond..they make out and then he takes her away in his Ashton Martin to some undisclosed exotic location where they make hot steamy love..
REAL LIFE:
Villain-Who are you..?!?
007- The name's Iyer...Pranav Iyer..I work for the Govt of India and i am here to kill you..
Villain Stares..for 2 minutes..
Villain-Ramu..call the security guards and throw this deranged mother fucker out of this party..
007- Hey no wait..i am a spy..i really am..I Spy..
Villain-Really??..where are Ur cool gadgets then?!?..i thought all spies are loaded with them
007- I have a desi tamancha in my sock..a kookri in my back pocket..an air gun in my side pocket...and a cyanide up my ass..don't be shocked; this is a usual practice amongst spies..we all keep a cyanide capsule up our ass..so whenever u see an under cover agent in a situation he cannot escape from..don't be surprised to see him squat down and finger himself..that's the protocol..and now if u will excuse me..i need some room to squat down..
.
.
.
cheers!!!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Dude..i'm good for nothing!!
As this is the time of the year when i fill all the application forms for B-Schools, i was going thru the online application forms of couple of institutes..
You see...applying to colleges has become synonymous to autumn in my dictionary for the past couple of years..the repetitive nature of this activity used to scare me initially..but now it has come to fit into my routine perfectly..wake up..brush Ur teeth..apply..have lunch...sleep...see..
i think even the colleges recognize me now..if u think from a business point of view..they have probably generated more revenue through me than any of the students studying at their campus..
I'm thinking of asking for loyalty benefits the next time around..hm mm..
anyways..that's besides what this post is about...this post is about..well as the subject states...I'm good for nothing..
Well to tell you honestly..I've never been the best anything...the only couple of things i thought i was good at were writing and my elocution skills..and ever since i grew up and started reading more and watched more stuff than i used to when a kid...even that bubble burst...i suck at that too..
So u all can imagine my plight when i was asked to "briefly explain" in 150 words my strengths, weaknesses, accomplishments and assets..
a very funny thought entered my mind the moment i read the thing and i pulled my pants down and stared...naah..not an asset..not yet!!
anyways..i scratched my head..googled...tried being innovative..but u know that's the thing with innovation..u need to have something to innovate...i am like a blank canvas..how do u market that..
"I'm Pranav Iyer, I've walked this earth for 22 yrs and I'm proud to say that I'm good at nothing..instead i have a list of things that i suck or at most I'm mediocre at..if anyone is taking notes..be quick..this is going to be long(knuckles crunching,warming up):
I'm not smart..I'm not intellectually superior..I'm not imaginative..I'm not innovative..i don't think out of the box..i don't think within the box..i don't think..i am not a good leader...i am not a good team worker..i don't respect women..i cant multi-task..i cant single task..i don't meet deadlines..i don't meet post-deadlines..i don't shoulder responsibilities..i snitch..i bitch...i crib...i cry...i am not punctual..I'm not a morning person..I'm not an afternoon person..I'm not an evening person..i drink..i drive..both together..i am obtuse..i am thick..i am arrogant..i am ignorant..i don't believe in god..i pray every morning for a miracle..i am hypocritical..i hate hypocrites..i am pessimist by choice...i am unhappy by choice..I'm not handsome..I'm not sexy..I'm not a womanizer(not out of choice)..girls don't date me..guys don't date me..I'm not good in bed..I'm not good out of bed...i am bald..i am skinny..i look shabby..i look like a waiter and the guard at the lobby...I'm not trustworthy..i am not trusting..i am not a good sport..i am not supportive..i don't support any cause...i don't do charity...i am a chauvinist..i am ridiculous...I'm not funny..i am dry..i beat up beggars..i am a biggit..people hate me..people throw stones at me..i am stoned for the best part of the day..and i will now stop coz my fingers hurt with so much of typing..i don't exercise u see..
that was fun..
later.
You see...applying to colleges has become synonymous to autumn in my dictionary for the past couple of years..the repetitive nature of this activity used to scare me initially..but now it has come to fit into my routine perfectly..wake up..brush Ur teeth..apply..have lunch...sleep...see..
i think even the colleges recognize me now..if u think from a business point of view..they have probably generated more revenue through me than any of the students studying at their campus..
I'm thinking of asking for loyalty benefits the next time around..hm mm..
anyways..that's besides what this post is about...this post is about..well as the subject states...I'm good for nothing..
Well to tell you honestly..I've never been the best anything...the only couple of things i thought i was good at were writing and my elocution skills..and ever since i grew up and started reading more and watched more stuff than i used to when a kid...even that bubble burst...i suck at that too..
So u all can imagine my plight when i was asked to "briefly explain" in 150 words my strengths, weaknesses, accomplishments and assets..
a very funny thought entered my mind the moment i read the thing and i pulled my pants down and stared...naah..not an asset..not yet!!
anyways..i scratched my head..googled...tried being innovative..but u know that's the thing with innovation..u need to have something to innovate...i am like a blank canvas..how do u market that..
"I'm Pranav Iyer, I've walked this earth for 22 yrs and I'm proud to say that I'm good at nothing..instead i have a list of things that i suck or at most I'm mediocre at..if anyone is taking notes..be quick..this is going to be long(knuckles crunching,warming up):
I'm not smart..I'm not intellectually superior..I'm not imaginative..I'm not innovative..i don't think out of the box..i don't think within the box..i don't think..i am not a good leader...i am not a good team worker..i don't respect women..i cant multi-task..i cant single task..i don't meet deadlines..i don't meet post-deadlines..i don't shoulder responsibilities..i snitch..i bitch...i crib...i cry...i am not punctual..I'm not a morning person..I'm not an afternoon person..I'm not an evening person..i drink..i drive..both together..i am obtuse..i am thick..i am arrogant..i am ignorant..i don't believe in god..i pray every morning for a miracle..i am hypocritical..i hate hypocrites..i am pessimist by choice...i am unhappy by choice..I'm not handsome..I'm not sexy..I'm not a womanizer(not out of choice)..girls don't date me..guys don't date me..I'm not good in bed..I'm not good out of bed...i am bald..i am skinny..i look shabby..i look like a waiter and the guard at the lobby...I'm not trustworthy..i am not trusting..i am not a good sport..i am not supportive..i don't support any cause...i don't do charity...i am a chauvinist..i am ridiculous...I'm not funny..i am dry..i beat up beggars..i am a biggit..people hate me..people throw stones at me..i am stoned for the best part of the day..and i will now stop coz my fingers hurt with so much of typing..i don't exercise u see..
that was fun..
later.
Monday, September 27, 2010
How did it come to this?!?
"...How did it come to this?!?" says Theoden, King of Rohan, just before entering into the epic battle at Helm's deep...
"...How did it come to this?!?" says pranav iyer,..looking at his gmail inbox for the umptieth time...hoping for that one mail to cheeer him up...reading the already read status msgs of the ppl online...to the extent that he has memorized who's written wat..ppl at work...ppl busy with their lives...
Though the above mentioned scenarios are both very different in their origins...the first one being so dramatic and awesome and all..
but they both have things in common...
They both have a person reliving his glorious past..smiling that smile which he knows will end in a frown...knowing that there was a time when he was truly happy..."accepting the facts is one thing my friends" they both want to say..."but living it everyday is a task no lesser than worthy of a king"..and his chest swells up once again...the stupid fool..afraid to fly..
"How did it come to this"...wonders pranav iyer as he goes back to check his gmail inbox and read the status msgs...smiling his smile..another day in paradise....
"...How did it come to this?!?" says pranav iyer,..looking at his gmail inbox for the umptieth time...hoping for that one mail to cheeer him up...reading the already read status msgs of the ppl online...to the extent that he has memorized who's written wat..ppl at work...ppl busy with their lives...
Though the above mentioned scenarios are both very different in their origins...the first one being so dramatic and awesome and all..
but they both have things in common...
They both have a person reliving his glorious past..smiling that smile which he knows will end in a frown...knowing that there was a time when he was truly happy..."accepting the facts is one thing my friends" they both want to say..."but living it everyday is a task no lesser than worthy of a king"..and his chest swells up once again...the stupid fool..afraid to fly..
"How did it come to this"...wonders pranav iyer as he goes back to check his gmail inbox and read the status msgs...smiling his smile..another day in paradise....
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Our Epic Movie!!(a teaser)
This one is for all my bhailogs and all the great times we had, laughing our asses off while making this movie..
This is to mark 10 yrs of our friendship...god knows..it feels much longer..
So for Aman, Ashwini,Bhupi,Devansh,Nishant,Rituraj,Rohan,Shamik and Shubham...here goes..
Director:Pranav Iyer
Writer:Was it ever scripted down?!?
Genre:Action | Adventure | Fantasy | Sci-Fi | Pornographic |
Tagline:Kiss Kiss BANG BANG!!!
Cast:
1. Nishant Gandhi-The actor started his career as a folk dancer.but soon realised he could never keep his pants on for more than 5 mins...so decided to jump in(pay keen attention to the choice of words) into a much more lucrative line of work...sci-fi porno flicks...though this movie was never released, but it earned him great reviews and accolades in the film fraternity...he has done alot of other films after this one..and has alot of awards under and below his belt.
see more=>>>-keywords-| durgapur ki nangi rand | The fountainy head | One (sleepy) night at the night club|
2. KD- the name of this actress has been with held on request. This movie, remains till date her only movie. Thank god for that.
3. Ashwini Haawa- Won the award for best actor in the category of "non-sexual performance in a pornographic movie". A very few fans know this..he actually auditioned for the role of lead in the movie but due to technical glitches(he couldn't work with his co-star...the lesser said abt it the better!!) was not selected..
4. Rituraj Phukkan- A regional, tribal theatre artist who got his big break into movies thru this movie. Now a major star in the Assamese porn fraternity.
see more=>>>-keywords-| lamba kela| bhuka kela| nanga kela |
and finally...
Introducing...for the very first time..
5. Shubham Srivastav- the transvestile hooker from lanes of indore..playing her/him self in the movie.
This is to mark 10 yrs of our friendship...god knows..it feels much longer..
So for Aman, Ashwini,Bhupi,Devansh,Nishant,Rituraj,Rohan,Shamik and Shubham...here goes..
Director:Pranav Iyer
Writer:Was it ever scripted down?!?
Genre:Action | Adventure | Fantasy | Sci-Fi | Pornographic |
Tagline:Kiss Kiss BANG BANG!!!
Cast:
1. Nishant Gandhi-The actor started his career as a folk dancer.but soon realised he could never keep his pants on for more than 5 mins...so decided to jump in(pay keen attention to the choice of words) into a much more lucrative line of work...sci-fi porno flicks...though this movie was never released, but it earned him great reviews and accolades in the film fraternity...he has done alot of other films after this one..and has alot of awards under and below his belt.
see more=>>>-keywords-| durgapur ki nangi rand | The fountainy head | One (sleepy) night at the night club|
2. KD- the name of this actress has been with held on request. This movie, remains till date her only movie. Thank god for that.
3. Ashwini Haawa- Won the award for best actor in the category of "non-sexual performance in a pornographic movie". A very few fans know this..he actually auditioned for the role of lead in the movie but due to technical glitches(he couldn't work with his co-star...the lesser said abt it the better!!) was not selected..
4. Rituraj Phukkan- A regional, tribal theatre artist who got his big break into movies thru this movie. Now a major star in the Assamese porn fraternity.
see more=>>>-keywords-| lamba kela| bhuka kela| nanga kela |
and finally...
Introducing...for the very first time..
5. Shubham Srivastav- the transvestile hooker from lanes of indore..playing her/him self in the movie.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Where are you Mr .Hyde?!?
Where are you Mr. Hyde..?!?
(a maniacal laughter)
well well well..pranav...dont you know?!..i am YOU!!
wat do you mean i am you?!?...i am not capable of doing this...i cant hurt her..i love her too much...i cant possibly have brought tears in her eyes...it was all you..
But i never said it wasn't me...you didn't think i wud let you take away my credit for it now do u...no no...all i'm saying is I AM YOU PRANAV!...WE hurt her..WE made her cry..made her bleed..and we enjoyed it so much didn't we pranav?!?
Get away form me..you monster..'WE' doesnt exist..i can't possibly be you...i know myself..there is good in me..there is still good in me...my conscience would not allow for you to be born...its not possible..
Your conscience...(maniacal laughter)...dont make me laugh pranav...your conscience is why we are having this conversation in the first place love..the double standards..the hideous thoughts..the insecurities..the malice...save this story for someone who doesn't live inside you...who can't see inside you like i can..like through a window..not a pretty sight it is my love...
shut up...you dont know me...you dont know who i am..i am a good person..i am a hero..i am a hero...i dont need to be saved..
(still laughing)...his conscinece it seems...it was a good one there pranav..tickled me in all the right places it did...very funny...
listen to me..listen to me good...you are not me...do you hear me..i can see you...i can talk to you..i hate you..you are not me...
Then how come you can me from the otherside of the mirror that shows just your face pranav?!?
(laughter cont.)
Where am i Mr. Pranav?!?
(a maniacal laughter)
well well well..pranav...dont you know?!..i am YOU!!
wat do you mean i am you?!?...i am not capable of doing this...i cant hurt her..i love her too much...i cant possibly have brought tears in her eyes...it was all you..
But i never said it wasn't me...you didn't think i wud let you take away my credit for it now do u...no no...all i'm saying is I AM YOU PRANAV!...WE hurt her..WE made her cry..made her bleed..and we enjoyed it so much didn't we pranav?!?
Get away form me..you monster..'WE' doesnt exist..i can't possibly be you...i know myself..there is good in me..there is still good in me...my conscience would not allow for you to be born...its not possible..
Your conscience...(maniacal laughter)...dont make me laugh pranav...your conscience is why we are having this conversation in the first place love..the double standards..the hideous thoughts..the insecurities..the malice...save this story for someone who doesn't live inside you...who can't see inside you like i can..like through a window..not a pretty sight it is my love...
shut up...you dont know me...you dont know who i am..i am a good person..i am a hero..i am a hero...i dont need to be saved..
(still laughing)...his conscinece it seems...it was a good one there pranav..tickled me in all the right places it did...very funny...
listen to me..listen to me good...you are not me...do you hear me..i can see you...i can talk to you..i hate you..you are not me...
Then how come you can me from the otherside of the mirror that shows just your face pranav?!?
(laughter cont.)
Where am i Mr. Pranav?!?
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Eternal pain for a cluesless mind!
9:46 pm
he looks around...thums-up spilt on the bed..the open pack of chips lying around..the shantaram he was reading before he fell asleep lying facedown on the floor..he wonders how he woke up?..then the cold tickly feeling tells him that it was the spilt cold drink seeping thru his vest and shorts that woke him up...
He lazily gets up and cleans up the mess...well not exactly cleaning up..but making the mess less messier...
He is amazingly numb today...rolls his tongue all around his mouth...he is so numb that he cannot even feel the ulcer that was killing him the previous day..he looks around..there one smoke left in the room...he looks at it..smiles to himself..thinks about the promise he made to himself just this morning...justifies it by saying..its just one smoke mate..and i'll take just 10 drags and stub it out...
walks slowly towards it...takes it in his hand,still considering...then smiles again..who is he kidding..he knows he is going to light it up.
1st drag- oh sweet lord!!!..this is a relief from the all the pain..i'm the master of my own pain..a nice feeling..but wait..pain...wat pain?!?
2nd drag- hello old friend..come have a smoke..where were u..i was getting anxious...knowing that you are around makes me feel real..makes me feel..even if ache is all i feel...i'm glad you are here...
3rd drag- we have been companions for so long now that i dont remember how we got so close...when was the first time we met...years and years ago that seems to be...
4th drag- his eyes water, partly from the smoke..partly otherwise...he smiles it away..his smile..his only disguise..his thousand smiles..
5th drag-jaipur,cummins,future,delhi,anjali,ahmedabad,b'lore,mba,priya,amma,ajji...thatha!!!
6th drag- ..still no tears..and he(thatha) waits patiently..like always..a hat of tricks it was eh old man?!?...stories untold and a relationship like none other..he lives his relationship with his grandfather in that one drag!
7th drag- those eyes...those beatiful eyes...how sad they must be..how lost they must be right now..searching for something to make them smile again..searching for me?!?
8th drag- there is no meaning to this life anymore...no logic that explains it anymore...all purpose lost all goals fallen apart..its all hazy...
9th drag- thick and white..his smoke like his thoughts..beautiful rings they make..one that follow the other...and a beautiful thought enters his mind...
10th drag- like the dense smoke can be bent..so can ur thoughts...make beautiful rings out of it..u can still make it...u can still make it..
stub!
he looks around...thums-up spilt on the bed..the open pack of chips lying around..the shantaram he was reading before he fell asleep lying facedown on the floor..he wonders how he woke up?..then the cold tickly feeling tells him that it was the spilt cold drink seeping thru his vest and shorts that woke him up...
He lazily gets up and cleans up the mess...well not exactly cleaning up..but making the mess less messier...
He is amazingly numb today...rolls his tongue all around his mouth...he is so numb that he cannot even feel the ulcer that was killing him the previous day..he looks around..there one smoke left in the room...he looks at it..smiles to himself..thinks about the promise he made to himself just this morning...justifies it by saying..its just one smoke mate..and i'll take just 10 drags and stub it out...
walks slowly towards it...takes it in his hand,still considering...then smiles again..who is he kidding..he knows he is going to light it up.
1st drag- oh sweet lord!!!..this is a relief from the all the pain..i'm the master of my own pain..a nice feeling..but wait..pain...wat pain?!?
2nd drag- hello old friend..come have a smoke..where were u..i was getting anxious...knowing that you are around makes me feel real..makes me feel..even if ache is all i feel...i'm glad you are here...
3rd drag- we have been companions for so long now that i dont remember how we got so close...when was the first time we met...years and years ago that seems to be...
4th drag- his eyes water, partly from the smoke..partly otherwise...he smiles it away..his smile..his only disguise..his thousand smiles..
5th drag-jaipur,cummins,future,delhi,anjali,ahmedabad,b'lore,mba,priya,amma,ajji...thatha!!!
6th drag- ..still no tears..and he(thatha) waits patiently..like always..a hat of tricks it was eh old man?!?...stories untold and a relationship like none other..he lives his relationship with his grandfather in that one drag!
7th drag- those eyes...those beatiful eyes...how sad they must be..how lost they must be right now..searching for something to make them smile again..searching for me?!?
8th drag- there is no meaning to this life anymore...no logic that explains it anymore...all purpose lost all goals fallen apart..its all hazy...
9th drag- thick and white..his smoke like his thoughts..beautiful rings they make..one that follow the other...and a beautiful thought enters his mind...
10th drag- like the dense smoke can be bent..so can ur thoughts...make beautiful rings out of it..u can still make it...u can still make it..
stub!
Monday, June 7, 2010
Aura Stealer!
Today is 07/06/10...and its exactly 6 months since i moved to Jaipur. Doesn't feel like 6 months though...feels like an era...an age lost and found in this dry land..
Six months...24 weeks...180 days...4320 hrs and counting...fuck!!!...has it really been that long already...heh...life sure does move fast...i still remember the first meal at sankalp the night i landed...that revulsion..that forced solitude...a part of it still remains..i say part coz i have learned to live with it...i'm still learning to live with it...i console myself..all this is for a greater cause...a better future..and i laugh out loud...
Out of the 24 weeks in Jaipur..i have spent 13 weekends outside of it..sometimes in Delhi,sometimes in Surat,A'bad or Pune...
I go there to feel good..about myself?!?..i wonder...i go there to live their lives..for 48 hrs be it..i go there to embrace happiness once more...with arms wide open...she is my love...though she comes with an expiry date...48 hrs of freedom..
I am them..I am life..I'm fun
I am an Aura Stealer on run.
save my life..save my soul..
coz soon enough..there will be none!!!
Six months...24 weeks...180 days...4320 hrs and counting...fuck!!!...has it really been that long already...heh...life sure does move fast...i still remember the first meal at sankalp the night i landed...that revulsion..that forced solitude...a part of it still remains..i say part coz i have learned to live with it...i'm still learning to live with it...i console myself..all this is for a greater cause...a better future..and i laugh out loud...
Out of the 24 weeks in Jaipur..i have spent 13 weekends outside of it..sometimes in Delhi,sometimes in Surat,A'bad or Pune...
I go there to feel good..about myself?!?..i wonder...i go there to live their lives..for 48 hrs be it..i go there to embrace happiness once more...with arms wide open...she is my love...though she comes with an expiry date...48 hrs of freedom..
I am them..I am life..I'm fun
I am an Aura Stealer on run.
save my life..save my soul..
coz soon enough..there will be none!!!
Monday, April 5, 2010
mortal combat...!!!!
its been a long time since i wrote the last post...
some would call it a writer's block...but i know better...i'm no writer...and i'm incapable of bottling up my emotions...so a block is out of the picture...
anyways...i had made about 5 drafts to the post that i'd publish but none seemed fit enough to be 'the comeback' post u know..
but who'd have imagined that a blog post wud present itself in the form of a KF strong and an excited A****n.zola...just back from the gangtok trip...hahahaha...
the title of this blog post is...and rightfully so...MORTAL COMBAT!!!!!!!
and to make u all appreciate it's full depth...here's a prologue...
"...All three of them gasped for breath....a battle so fierce; the likes of which had never been witnessed in the football grounds ever; drew to a close but presented no clear winner...all three were dead determined to battle till the end...their prize glittered in their tired eyes..the gutter flower!!!!"
Before i start the story..some of the much needed DISCLAIMERS:
All the characters in the story are fictitious and bear no resemblance to any real people or real life events..(except rishi,sowmi,gokul and ashwin!!!)
And also-the writer's past feelings for gutterflower bears no impact on the story!!
Yeah so with these things clear and out of the way...lets begin!!!
In this story...there are 4 characters..
1.Gutter flower-the lanky yet attractive(?!?)young lady...
2.Romeo Zidane(yeah....he's a male!!)
3.Rock star rampal-The perfect hunk...or so u wud be forced to think in the svnit basti
4.Smart ass zola-The nerdy unattractive geek who has found sudden stardom in his final year..because of his quizzing skills..and intellect..
A long long time ago in the SVNIT basti....
there was a girl called...well lets say gutterflower...for poetic reference and otherwise..
She was a damsel in distress...a girl who was forced by fate to rot in the sad and sorry svnit basti...or so she thought...she had very few acquaintances...leave alone friends...her life was as miserable as the princess locked in the top most tower guarded by the dragon..but in this case there was no price in sight...!!...or so we thought!!
Along came our stallion on foot...a guy who looked nothing like a conventional hero..the exact opposite to be honest..so here came... ROMEO ZIDANE!!!!!
With his power to kick the football with unimaginable strength and write poems with unimaginable stench..he was our own....ROMEO ZIDANE!!!!
He could not bear to see her in pain...and in the process of trying to help her out..alas!...he fell in love with her...and hence came the darkest phase of his and his compatriots' lives...what with innumerable sob filled nights,unbearable torturous literatures and hair-cuts...but he somehow came back to his senses..he fell out of love with her..
But then something happened that he had never dreamt of in his wildest of dreams...no..she didn't say yes to him...no...but two of his closest friends for whom he was prepared to lay down his own life...went on a date with gutterflower on V-day!!!
And as if this was not enough fuel to the fire our own "jhantu baba"(name-for obvious reasons) decided to tell him the heart-breaking details of how she had written a sensuous letter addressed to both of them..the anger,the pain,the jealousy knew no bounds...(cont.)
In the meanwhile, let me ease in the rest of my cast into the story...
---Rock star Rampal had a very modest start to his college life...he was only famous amongst his peers for his motorcycle and being a localite..didnt exist for the hostel seniors...but he was not short of talent...he soon found his love for music and took up to bass guitar...and became quite popular in college...accolades and laurels soon followed and before long he became the rockstar of the college...
But as they say...fame gets into ur head...both of them!!...Rampal too fell prey for it...what with his cheap antiques and attitude..he fell apart from those who had believed in him in the first place...who had never given up on him...
But all this transformation didnt go unnoticed...gutterflower began taking interest in rampal's life and even though rampal knew what his close friend Romeo felt for her...he couldn't stop himself from accepting her offer to go on a date with her...but little did he know that there was another twist in the story(cont.)
---Smart ass Zola had always been ridiculed in his growing years for being too smart for his own good...
for example if his friends asked him to check out the racks on a female he would start scientifically explaining the reasons for the growth of breasts!!...u get my drift right?...
And so understandably he also came into college without any great expectations on the female front...But then something happened that changed his life for ever...being geeky was now hep!!!...it was like peter parker changing into spider-man..he was suddenly in demand..what with his GK,elocution skills,JAM prowess...he made quite a name for himself in the latter years of his college life...but as they say...everyone has a skeleton in their closet..we'll come to that later..
So understandably he didnt get missed out from miss gutterflower's eyes...which were still looking for her prince...and so she invited him too,to ber her date on the 14th..to pick the best of the 2..
And its here that all the three stories meet...
Romeo, who was used to stalking gutterflower stood outside the restaurant with his binoculars looking intently at her...
Then to his utter shock...Rockstar Rampal entered with his guitar(rumour has it that he even shits with it strapped on...the sign of a true rockstar he believes!!)
And even as romeo looked in pain..smart ass zola came into the view...and he was as shocked to be seen as he was at seeing rampal sitting in front of him...and even though they behaved to the best of their behaviours(except romeo,there are still traces of the damages caused to the restaurant window panes)they all knew that this would not go down peacefully...
And in the presence of jhantu baba they all decided that there was only one way to resolve this matter...
MORTAL COMBAT!!!!!
Here are the profiles put forward
Romeo Zidane-
Weight-40kgs(without hair 30 kgs)
Height-5-10
Secret skills-power to kick with unimaginable strength and write with unimaginable stench!!
Rockstar Rampal-
Weight-70kgs(With his guitar 80kgs)
Height-6-2
Secret skills-when he plays the guitar he attracts many girls...who go like
.."..ooh rampal we loooove u....we'll do anything for u...oh wait we pooped in our pants..."...so shrills,thrills and frills(refer poop)...take the opponent by surprise as he strikes those chords!!!
Smart ass Zola-
Weight-70 kgs
Height 5-10
Secret skills-He's the riddler...his questions and trivia drain all the energy off the opponent till they surrender...and having an evil incest twin helps too...its like that bruce lee's movie..enter the dragon!!...but instead of a mirror..u have 2 identical twins combating you...deadly!!!
And so the great battle of our time began!!!
To see the how it ends...
.
.
.
.
.
KEEP LOOKING AT THIS SPACE!!!
PS:this was written in good humour...sorry if any got offended...but seriously...wat are u going to do abt it!!!
some would call it a writer's block...but i know better...i'm no writer...and i'm incapable of bottling up my emotions...so a block is out of the picture...
anyways...i had made about 5 drafts to the post that i'd publish but none seemed fit enough to be 'the comeback' post u know..
but who'd have imagined that a blog post wud present itself in the form of a KF strong and an excited A****n.zola...just back from the gangtok trip...hahahaha...
the title of this blog post is...and rightfully so...MORTAL COMBAT!!!!!!!
and to make u all appreciate it's full depth...here's a prologue...
"...All three of them gasped for breath....a battle so fierce; the likes of which had never been witnessed in the football grounds ever; drew to a close but presented no clear winner...all three were dead determined to battle till the end...their prize glittered in their tired eyes..the gutter flower!!!!"
Before i start the story..some of the much needed DISCLAIMERS:
All the characters in the story are fictitious and bear no resemblance to any real people or real life events..(except rishi,sowmi,gokul and ashwin!!!)
And also-the writer's past feelings for gutterflower bears no impact on the story!!
Yeah so with these things clear and out of the way...lets begin!!!
In this story...there are 4 characters..
1.Gutter flower-the lanky yet attractive(?!?)young lady...
2.Romeo Zidane(yeah....he's a male!!)
3.Rock star rampal-The perfect hunk...or so u wud be forced to think in the svnit basti
4.Smart ass zola-The nerdy unattractive geek who has found sudden stardom in his final year..because of his quizzing skills..and intellect..
A long long time ago in the SVNIT basti....
there was a girl called...well lets say gutterflower...for poetic reference and otherwise..
She was a damsel in distress...a girl who was forced by fate to rot in the sad and sorry svnit basti...or so she thought...she had very few acquaintances...leave alone friends...her life was as miserable as the princess locked in the top most tower guarded by the dragon..but in this case there was no price in sight...!!...or so we thought!!
Along came our stallion on foot...a guy who looked nothing like a conventional hero..the exact opposite to be honest..so here came... ROMEO ZIDANE!!!!!
With his power to kick the football with unimaginable strength and write poems with unimaginable stench..he was our own....ROMEO ZIDANE!!!!
He could not bear to see her in pain...and in the process of trying to help her out..alas!...he fell in love with her...and hence came the darkest phase of his and his compatriots' lives...what with innumerable sob filled nights,unbearable torturous literatures and hair-cuts...but he somehow came back to his senses..he fell out of love with her..
But then something happened that he had never dreamt of in his wildest of dreams...no..she didn't say yes to him...no...but two of his closest friends for whom he was prepared to lay down his own life...went on a date with gutterflower on V-day!!!
And as if this was not enough fuel to the fire our own "jhantu baba"(name-for obvious reasons) decided to tell him the heart-breaking details of how she had written a sensuous letter addressed to both of them..the anger,the pain,the jealousy knew no bounds...(cont.)
In the meanwhile, let me ease in the rest of my cast into the story...
---Rock star Rampal had a very modest start to his college life...he was only famous amongst his peers for his motorcycle and being a localite..didnt exist for the hostel seniors...but he was not short of talent...he soon found his love for music and took up to bass guitar...and became quite popular in college...accolades and laurels soon followed and before long he became the rockstar of the college...
But as they say...fame gets into ur head...both of them!!...Rampal too fell prey for it...what with his cheap antiques and attitude..he fell apart from those who had believed in him in the first place...who had never given up on him...
But all this transformation didnt go unnoticed...gutterflower began taking interest in rampal's life and even though rampal knew what his close friend Romeo felt for her...he couldn't stop himself from accepting her offer to go on a date with her...but little did he know that there was another twist in the story(cont.)
---Smart ass Zola had always been ridiculed in his growing years for being too smart for his own good...
for example if his friends asked him to check out the racks on a female he would start scientifically explaining the reasons for the growth of breasts!!...u get my drift right?...
And so understandably he also came into college without any great expectations on the female front...But then something happened that changed his life for ever...being geeky was now hep!!!...it was like peter parker changing into spider-man..he was suddenly in demand..what with his GK,elocution skills,JAM prowess...he made quite a name for himself in the latter years of his college life...but as they say...everyone has a skeleton in their closet..we'll come to that later..
So understandably he didnt get missed out from miss gutterflower's eyes...which were still looking for her prince...and so she invited him too,to ber her date on the 14th..to pick the best of the 2..
And its here that all the three stories meet...
Romeo, who was used to stalking gutterflower stood outside the restaurant with his binoculars looking intently at her...
Then to his utter shock...Rockstar Rampal entered with his guitar(rumour has it that he even shits with it strapped on...the sign of a true rockstar he believes!!)
And even as romeo looked in pain..smart ass zola came into the view...and he was as shocked to be seen as he was at seeing rampal sitting in front of him...and even though they behaved to the best of their behaviours(except romeo,there are still traces of the damages caused to the restaurant window panes)they all knew that this would not go down peacefully...
And in the presence of jhantu baba they all decided that there was only one way to resolve this matter...
MORTAL COMBAT!!!!!
Here are the profiles put forward
Romeo Zidane-
Weight-40kgs(without hair 30 kgs)
Height-5-10
Secret skills-power to kick with unimaginable strength and write with unimaginable stench!!
Rockstar Rampal-
Weight-70kgs(With his guitar 80kgs)
Height-6-2
Secret skills-when he plays the guitar he attracts many girls...who go like
.."..ooh rampal we loooove u....we'll do anything for u...oh wait we pooped in our pants..."...so shrills,thrills and frills(refer poop)...take the opponent by surprise as he strikes those chords!!!
Smart ass Zola-
Weight-70 kgs
Height 5-10
Secret skills-He's the riddler...his questions and trivia drain all the energy off the opponent till they surrender...and having an evil incest twin helps too...its like that bruce lee's movie..enter the dragon!!...but instead of a mirror..u have 2 identical twins combating you...deadly!!!
And so the great battle of our time began!!!
To see the how it ends...
.
.
.
.
.
KEEP LOOKING AT THIS SPACE!!!
PS:this was written in good humour...sorry if any got offended...but seriously...wat are u going to do abt it!!!
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