Dude..i'm good for nothing!!

As this is the time of the year when i fill all the application forms for B-Schools, i was going thru the online application forms of couple of institutes..
You see...applying to colleges has become synonymous to autumn in my dictionary for the past couple of years..the repetitive nature of this activity used to scare me initially..but now it has come to fit into my routine perfectly..wake up..brush Ur teeth..apply..have lunch...sleep...see..
i think even the colleges recognize me now..if u think from a business point of view..they have probably generated more revenue through me than any of the students studying at their campus..
I'm thinking of asking for loyalty benefits the next time around..hm mm..
anyways..that's besides what this post is about...this post is about..well as the subject states...I'm good for nothing..
Well to tell you honestly..I've never been the best anything...the only couple of things i thought i was good at were writing and my elocution skills..and ever since i grew up and started reading more and watched more stuff than i used to when a kid...even that bubble burst...i suck at that too..
So u all can imagine my plight when i was asked to "briefly explain" in 150 words my strengths, weaknesses, accomplishments and assets..
a very funny thought entered my mind the moment i read the thing and i pulled my pants down and stared...naah..not an asset..not yet!!
anyways..i scratched my head..googled...tried being innovative..but u know that's the thing with innovation..u need to have something to innovate...i am like a blank canvas..how do u market that..
"I'm Pranav Iyer, I've walked this earth for 22 yrs and I'm proud to say that I'm good at nothing..instead i have a list of things that i suck or at most I'm mediocre at..if anyone is taking notes..be quick..this is going to be long(knuckles crunching,warming up):

I'm not smart..I'm not intellectually superior..I'm not imaginative..I'm not innovative..i don't think out of the box..i don't think within the box..i don't think..i am not a good leader...i am not a good team worker..i don't respect women..i cant multi-task..i cant single task..i don't meet deadlines..i don't meet post-deadlines..i don't shoulder responsibilities..i snitch..i bitch...i crib...i cry...i am not punctual..I'm not a morning person..I'm not an afternoon person..I'm not an evening person..i drink..i drive..both together..i am obtuse..i am thick..i am arrogant..i am ignorant..i don't believe in god..i pray every morning for a miracle..i am hypocritical..i hate hypocrites..i am pessimist by choice...i am unhappy by choice..I'm not handsome..I'm not sexy..I'm not a womanizer(not out of choice)..girls don't date me..guys don't date me..I'm not good in bed..I'm not good out of bed...i am bald..i am skinny..i look shabby..i look like a waiter and the guard at the lobby...I'm not trustworthy..i am not trusting..i am not a good sport..i am not supportive..i don't support any cause...i don't do charity...i am a chauvinist..i am ridiculous...I'm not funny..i am dry..i beat up beggars..i am a biggit..people hate me..people throw stones at me..i am stoned for the best part of the day..and i will now stop coz my fingers hurt with so much of typing..i don't exercise u see..

that was fun..
later.