job, stalker and breast cancer!!

hi,
its been a long time and a lot has changed since i wrote the previous post!! its been a mixed month..a few ups and a few..well...bumps and bruises..
let me help you guys understand by listing it out.(i like listing things out..)

1. JOB -i'm not jobless anymore...a little better..i am an intern come this 16th nov. i'll be the product of the best MBA grads' minds at work to reduce cost to the company. they have deviced an ingenious method to fool us all.in these times when all of us are desperate to get our joining dates...these bastards are giving us joining dates...but only as interns..with a 40% reduced salary...and no job security after 6 months..but you grab onto anything u get eh?...so here i am..excited about doing cheap labour..yohooo!!!...but i have my pune and bubba!!...i am excited!

2. STALKER-i have a stalker...yes..i know u guys dont believe it..but its true..i have a stalker..ok let me begin at the beginning..
when i came back home from college this summer(god it feels like ages ago) a new girl had moved in with our neighbours...she was their niece..i recognised her from ages ago when she had come once before to visit them..i was in 8th then i think..so ya it was years ago and i pretended not to know her when i actually did...u see i had nursed a little crush on her when she was here the last time...but this time around her re-entry didnt cause any ripples...u see i was pre-occupied in the crush sense...i had another female to worry about...but yesterday when i came back home from the hospital(3rd segment..)..my mum said that she had dropped in earlier to see me...
so i went to check what was up and she said that she needed a drop off to some place where she took her coaching classes..but talking to her broke that bubble that i had created around me..u all must have had that one...when u have a crush on a girl u havent spoken to ever...u have a mental image about their voice,sense of humour,wit,and well other graphic images that i best dont describe here...but u get the picture right..so here she was talking to me and 10 yrs worth crush just came crashing down...she was stupid,not funny and had a very bad accent(gorakhpur)..
being the nice guy that i am i agreed to drop her off to the place..and when we were
on our way she started flirting with me...i know what u guys are thinking..what'll a guy who has never bin flirted with know about flirting..but that's the thing boys...who better to judge the sweet taste of freedom than a prisoner who's never seen the sun...who better to judge sex than a virgin..u know..so, the same way i cud tell that she was flirting with me...she talked about how we never meet up..or how i could teach her math...yes she said that!!..so i had all these distortrd images of 'three mistakes of my life' and that was when i thought i had to bail...so ever since then i've been trying to avoid seeing her.
its this thing about guys...we can never get attracted to someone who is attracted to us..its like we judge them for having a thing about us...is it all guys or just me, i wonder?!?...well..moving on..

3. BREAST CANCER - it was about a week ago that i woke up in the morning and found out that my left nipple was bigger than my right nipple and had a tiny lump. initially it didnt strike any chord in my brain till my mind wandered to a blog that i had read quite recently...it was written by a guy about his friend's sudden death due to cancer...and it was very moving...that's when my mind started racing...just when i was deciding who'd read my obituary and cosole my distraught but smashingly hot girl friend if anything were to happen to me..a nasty thought entered my mind...what if i had breast cancer!!...
people who know me will know that even if there have been just like 10 such casualities it has a high chance of happenening to me...shit always has a curious way of finding me...
so here i was, blue in the face(and a bit in my tit) about my predicament...thinking about what the (i)fs..
forget crying near my death bed...i'd become the heart of new dark humour...something like 'dead baby jokes'...i'd be the inventor of 'dead breast cancer dude jokes'..people wud be like...did u hear about that dude who barely had a man-tit but died due to tit cancer...i wud be humiliated in my death...and somewhere high above, god wud be laughing at his own private joke with his other collegues...wtf!!
and it was'nt till i went to the doctor and showed him my chest that i was relieved...he told me not to worry with a nice smile and said something about these things happening to "guys at this age"...
and now i wasent sure whether i was more humiliated about my doubts of having breast cancer or the fact that the doctor thought that i'd just hit puberty...
embarrassment never lets go of me..

ok so this it about it...
hope u all had a nice laugh...and ya..if i ever die...haawa, my man...u get to read my obituary...lol
later amigos!!

i hate photographic memories!!

dream on?!?

it was 4 am when i suddenly woke up!...i'd had a very bad dream indeed...it was not the usual "bad"..i mean when u see ur dear ones die or somehthing bad happen to them...it was an alarming dream...i,being the hero in the dream got my ass thrashed out of me!!!...i see that ur losing me... so let me try to explain it better
i've always been a very happy dreamer..i know that some of u might be wondering how is it that i can remember my dreams...we tend to forget most of our dreams as soon as we wake up..but not me boss!!...how should i put it..my dream world to me is like what bollywood is to millions of indians who see their aspirations and their dreams for a perfect life squashed by reality everyday!..its a place where i escape to when i'm pissed and/or frustrated(mom this is why i've been sleeping 12 hrs a day for the past couple of months)
so if "dream catcher" ever becomes a reality and u get to sneak a peak into my dreams you'll find me doing/being one of the many following:

1)a super hero with a perfectly toned body..not like arnold..no..much more like a john rambo...u know fighting crime..with all the tentacled monsters and villains getting their ass kicked big time..and ya ofcourse scoring with the hottest chick in the world is in order..hello,i saved the world!!!

2)being the best footballer in the world..i used to have more of these dreams when i was at school...maybe dreams also have a reality check!!...i'm not one of these flashy foot ball players like ronaldo and messi..no sir...i'm more like zidane(i know i'm obsessed with him,he was awesome!)u know with subtle touches and through passes and once in a while a genius step over or a screamer from 30 yards out...ya i'm more like zidane in my dreams!!

3)an action figure..u know like G.I.JOE,or Commandos or chuck norris...what!!.. he is an action figure...u dont believe me...check out this link(courtesy: zinjarde)

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/page1.html
its hilarious..

4)a movie star-i'm sure all of u guys have been movie stars or rock stars in your dreams..reminds me of this great song which so apt for this:
lyrics-rockstar-Nickelback
"Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
Livin in top houses
Drivin fifteen cars
The girls come easy
And the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny
Cuz we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy Bunny
With their bleach blond hair

And well...
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar"

5)i always dream about my life in an iim...and amazingly it always turns out to be alot like chetan bhagat's...u know a good i-bank,an iim sweetheart and a rich successful life..i'm not very imaginative!!

ya, so the point of taking you guys thru a quick tour inside my head(lol) was for u to have an idea how awesome i feel when i dream...i'm invincible!!..
u know the daily troubles dont bother me there...i dont worry about my career,my joining date,about cat,about females,about my receding hairline(i have nightmares that one day i'll wake up completely bald..i dont want to talk about it much)
but off-late my dreams have been bad...i'm the salman khan of "kuch kuch hota hai" in my dreams now....i used to be shah rukh!!...i am the guy that a female leaves for the hero saying "...ur a great guy...u'll find someone better than me..trust me.."...this sucks!!..as if its not bad enough that it happens to me in real life..now in my dreams too!!..
i'm worried guys...i'm losing my narnia!!!
the point of sharing all this with you all still eludes me..but what the hell..i had nothing better to do anyways!!
later!