5:15 am
Saturday.
05.03.11

Just getting back from the station..
The chill in the air matches the chill in the heart...one of those nights when sleep eludes and the person to put me to sleep eludes me much more still...what is it that keeps me awake at night...what is it that makes me perennially sad...makes me the bitter, cold person that i have become...i wonder!

I have stopped writing..Its said that one often does the thing that they are good at(atleast they think they are good at anyway) when sad or down...then why have I stoppped writing?
What is it that i am so ashamed of that i dont want its evidence on paper.

You got that right!...i am ashamed...
Of who I have become..what I have become more like it...
Pranav Iyer...the great one...reduced to the level of a rodent..rotting and filthy..filthy in thoughts and in action...I disgust myself and the ones around me...I have become a disease plauging others...
A disease eating away who i was meant to be...
I want it to stop...I want all of this to go away..I want to go away...
Pl. make it stop...someone...pl. save my soul, or what's left of it...

I wait...I wait in vain..but i wait..